Monday, May 7, 2012

Join us!

Other Satanic organizations will charge you up to $200 for a membership. They will also ask you for personal details to judge whether or not you meet their standards.

We are different. We believe that anyone who wants can proudly call herself or himself a Satanist. All we seek in our members is a desire to share the Dark Gospel. A SATANIC MISSIONARY SOCIETY MEMBERSHIP IS ABSOLUTELY FREE AND UNCONDITIONAL!

If you believe you have what it takes to join in our Unholy Mayhem, then just send us a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope, and we will send you this hand-crafted, attractive set of not just one, but FOUR official membership cards, so you can continue to share this profane vocation with friends and family.

We don't even collect any personal details. Satan is in your heart, and knows whether you are a Satanic Missionary or not. Once we have sent you your membership cards in the self-addressed envelope you supplied us, we have no record of your existence. Only Satan knows what diabolical purpose you have in mind for your membership in our Society.

To receive your membership cards, send a Self Addressed Stamped Envelope to

ATTN Membership Department
Satanic Missionary Society
PO Box 11753
Olympia WA  98508

We currently CANNOT accept monetary donations of any kind, and can only accept envelopes stamped with US Postage ($0.45 US, $0.85 Canada and Mexico, $1.05 everywhere else) or unstamped envelopes accompanied by an International Reply Coupon. We are also unable to accept requests for membership cards over the phone or by e-mail as we need a self-addressed stamped envelope to use for delivery to you.


Important update for people outside the United States:
Since you cannot easily obtain US Postage to send us, we can also accept International Reply Coupons, which you can get from the post office in your country. Unfortunately, many countries have stopped selling these (notably the UK and India). If you are unable to obtain an International Reply Coupon to send us, don't worry, we're still committed to enrolling you in our Unholy Society. Please just send us anything interesting and wicked from your country that is small enough to fit in an envelope and we will accept this in lieu of return postage. (We still need a self-addressed envelope from you)
Here is more information about International Reply Coupons:
And here is a list of countries that sell them:


  1. You guys are awesome!!!! This is the radest fucking shit ever !!! I thought I was alone in my love for the dark one all these years. I have my membership card in the form of a pentagram tattooed on my hand. But I would love to get my hands on one of these official membership kits. I wish you all the best and hope I can make the next meeting.

    1. If you can't wait for the mail, come into Last Word books in Olympia on 4th ave downtown past washington. They also have the Enemy cursing kit, unholy water, unholy bibles, and more. Hail SATAN!

  2. HAIL SATAN!!!
    I will join you guys and share the power of SATAN!!!

    You guys rock!!

  3. You believe in comic art, rankling proselytizing Christians, and cookies. I approve of this. :-D

  4. Just given you guys a heads up,I sent a self-addressed stamped envelope your way.The stamp is mary holding baby jesus.This is my way of mocking god.So when you see the envelope don't worry it's not full of dogma.I just hate god.Also love the shirts will be buying soon.

  5. I am a leader of sacred rites, wizard of modern electric rituals and a
    founder to the Secret Order of the Blood Coven. I have been tattooing
    since 2001 and have worked in comics since 2006. The focus of my
    work is on the aggressive and rapacious approach in the dark side of
    human nature, the magic and phantasmagoria that dominates the
    Fantasy, Horror and Gothic themes of the late 1800’s.

    If you are looking for any artwork for your deviant projects you can
    check out some of my work here:

  6. I've got a question for you guys: are there any age restrictions (for the official membership kit)? too young? too old?

  7. No one is too young or old to follow Satan. You just have to be wicked enough to do what you want. We send membership cards to anyone who sends us a self-addressed stamped envelope, and we don't maintain any membership records. You can also usually get membership cards by taking them from the Satanic display at Last Word Books in Olympia, Washington. Hail Satan!


  9. Hello from a rather damp northern Ireland ,I just wanted to say love the site and of course I will be joining ,but I'm truly at a lost on something to send you wicked folks ,while I'm writing this inspiration has just hit so you should here from me real soon

  10. Sending off my envelope in the next day or 2!!!