Monday, July 30, 2012

Pocket Demons

From the infernal depths we have summoned these demons to serve as your personal minions. Befriend one if you dare! Each one is unique. Available from the free Satanic display at Last Word Books in Olympia

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Satanic message in a bottle

New cards for the Satanic Missionary Society and the Satanic Prayer Line are now available in bottles. Collect them all. Look for them at Last Word Books and Caffe Vita in Olympia.

Monday, July 23, 2012

A Satanic Prayer for Bigots

A Satanic Prayer for Bigots:

Seductive and lustful Satan, infernal messenger of all that is dark and pleasing to the flesh, lure the self-righteous holy ones who remove our profane flyers away from their bigoted and hateful ways.  O beautiful and wise Serpent of Eden, tempt them with all the knowledge and pleasures of this life, so much sweeter than their bitter hatred and intolerance.  Awaken in their hearts and in their loins the carnal desires for all things depraved and vile.  In your name we curse all who deny others pleasure and all who would silence us.  Hail Satan!

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Have you made your decision for Satan?

Download this card as a pdf here:

On the front is our Cookie Recipe, and on the back, you can make your decision for Satan

Come to the Dark Side

We have cookies

O Satan, source of all chaos and seduction, imbue these unholy cookies with your infernal presence! Lead all who come near them into the ways of wickedness, that they may live to taste ever-greater sins and pleasures! Hail Satan!

  1. Preheat oven to 375°.
  2. Gather these things:
    • 1 1/8 cup flour
    • 1/2 tsp. baking soda
    • 1/2 tsp. salt
    • 1/2 cup unsalted butter
    • 3/8 cup white sugar
    • 3/8 cup brown sugar
    • 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
    • 1 egg
    • 1 cup milk chocolate chips
  3. Combine flour, baking soda, and salt and set aside.
  4. Beat butter, white and brown sugar, and vanilla until creamy.
  5. Beat in egg.
  6. Gradually beat in flour mixture.
  7. Stir in chocolate chips.
  8. Drop in heaping teaspoons onto ungreased baking sheet.
  9. Bake until edges are golden brown (about 10 minutes).
  10. Let cool for two minutes on baking sheet.
  11. Serve warm to lure people to Satan!

A Sinner's Prayer

O Satan, infernal tempter, Dark Lord of seduction and chaos, I am a sinner, and proudly so! Continue to advise me in the ways of wickedness. Drive from my heart the hateful forces of guilt and holiness. I take ownership of my desires and commit myself to my own pleasure and satisfaction! I will follow my passions wherever they lead me! Satan, I do not confine you to my heart! May your Dark Presence flow from there into my life and actions. Make trouble for all who stand in my way! Hail Satan!

My Decision for Satan

Proclaiming to all that I am a sinner, and believing that Satan will always guide me best to my desires, I do now and always reject “salvation” and celebrate sinfulness!

Name: _______________________________________________________

Date: _______________________________________________________