O mighty Satan, Prince of Darkness, source of greed, lust, and gluttony, we beseech you in this hour of desperation, bring about a swift end to this shortage of unwholesome snack cakes! Preserve the unholy secret recipes as the snack cakes themselves are so preserved by their infernal components from the depths of our earth! We call upon you, awaken in the hearts of many buyers the greed to acquire the merchandising rights to them, and the shamelessness to market them ever more agressively to all who would be healthier without them. In your unholy name we pray, Hail Satan!
