Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Downloadable Demons!

Tired of waiting? Want something wicked RIGHT NOW?

Check out our new INFERNAL DOWNLOAD STORE!

http://satanicmission.org/demon-download

While good things come to those who wait, we can now offer INSTANT GRATIFICATION!

Visit our DOWNLOADABLE DEMON STORE and brows sets of THREE COMPLETELY UNIQUE DEMONS delivered as MP3 files!

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! You'll also get COMPLETELY UNIQUE IMAGES of your demons embedded in each MP3 File so you can gaze into their INFERNAL FACES on your iPod, phone, or computer as you listen to their UNHOLY VOICES!

How is this possible? We invoke these demons JUST FOR YOU using the exact same INFERNAL TECHNOLOGY OF WICKEDNESS that we use to create our Demonic Divining Cards, Pocket Demons, and Demonic Audio CDs! But instead of containing the newly invoked demons into physical items, they are VIRTUALLY CONFINED TO THE AETHER to be downloaded at your convenience!

ONCE YOU PURCHASE A SET OF DEMONS NO ONE ELSE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR DEMONS! You can reproduce them as much as you want, but they are most powerful when CONFINED TO A SINGLE DEVICE!

Monday, December 30, 2013

New CD of Demonic Voices!

You've seen the Infernal Faces of Demons in our other products ( http://satanicmission.org/cards ) Now hear their Unholy Voices! Pick up a CD of 72 Demons from our online store NOW! Get yours here: http://satanicmission.org/cd

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Blind Satanist strikes back!


The Blind Satanist just sent off these letters to the Cult that's been harassing her.  Creepy Stuff!


October 31, 2013

Ashlee Levcun
PO Box 11753
Olympia WA 98508

Shane Whitaker
Matthew McLellan
Joe Williams
[address redacted]


To Shane, Joe, and Matt:

I demand that you cease all contact, harassment and stalking of me and my boyfriend Chris Allert immediately.  It was completely unacceptable that you followed me and my boyfriend to my residence on the evening of Tuesday, October 29.  You are not under any circumstances to contact either of us or approach either of us, or approach my boyfriend's residence (apartment #[redacted]) or my residence, and I demand that you inform all members of your religious group "Greeners 4 Christ / Jesus Folk" to leave us alone as well.

Sincerely,




Ashlee Levcun

________________________________

October 31, 2013

Ashlee Levcun
PO Box 11753
Olympia WA 98508

Evergreen Students for Christ / Evergreen Jesus Folk
PO Box 13031
Olympia WA 98508


To whom it may concern:

A month ago, on September 28, I sent the attached letter to Students For Christ, Student Affairs at The Evergreen State College, and InterVarsity Christian Fellowship informing all concerned quite clearly and unambiguously that I want NO CONTACT OF ANY KIND from the Evergreen Students for Christ or the Jesus Folk.  Regretfully my wishes have not been respected, and I have been contacted by this group at least three times since then.

The first occasion was on Friday, October 18, when a member of the group named Cody (I believe his last name is Johnson) approached me and began demanding to know why I was attending an event with a competing student group.  I simply ignored him, hoping that perhaps he had simply not gotten the notice that no members of Students for Christ / Jesus Folk are to contact me, and he left after some time.

On the evening of Tuesday, October 29, I received unwanted contact from Matt McLellan, who is a close friend and roommate of Shane Whitaker, whom I specifically named in my previous letter.  I was having dinner at King Solomon's Reef in Olympia with my boyfriend Chris Allert.  We were minding our own business, and Matt approached our table and began talking to me.  When I was about to inform him that no one from him or his group is to have any contact with me he walked away.  He was in the restaurant with Shane Whitaker, Cody, and a few other members of the Jesus Folk, so he clearly knew he was approaching me against my wishes.  And I have also told him on many occasions previously not to contact me.

My boyfriend and I paid our bill and left.  Shane, Matt, Cody, and the people they were with, secretly followed us to my house as my boyfriend walked me home.  After he left, they began ringing all the doorbells in my building (it was after midnight at this point), and shouting my name, alarming all my neighbors.  When a neighbor who is a police officer answered the door and demanded to know what they were doing, they told him that they were there to "save" me.

This behavior is completely unacceptable, and certainly constitutes criminal harassment.  I demand that all members of the Evergreen Students for Christ and Jesus Folk be notified that they are to cease and desist contacting me immediately.  In addition, I find it incredible that a group that engages in this kind of behavior is an official Registered Student Organization at The Evergreen State College.

Also, at about the same time I sent the attached letter, three members of the Jesus Folk (Shane Whitaker, Matt McLellan, and Joe Williams) moved into an apartment adjacent to my boyfriend's apartment.  We found this highly suspicious as they all know he lives there and that I am there often.

I must also make a few corrections to my previous letter.   In that letter I name an individual "Kara Quirky." Her name is "Kara Quirke".   Also, I mentioned the date of the last contact as Wednesday, October 25, when I intended to write "Wednesday, September 25."

Thank you in advance for your immediate attention to this matter.

Sincerely,




Ashlee Levcun

________________________________

September 28, 2013

Ashlee Levcun
PO Box 11753
Olympia WA 98508

Evergreen Students for Christ / Evergreen Jesus Folk
PO Box 13031
Olympia WA 98508


To whom it may concern:

I am writing to inform you that I don't want any contact with the Evergreen Jesus Folk members or the members of the Evergreen Students for Christ. I have asked the members of the Evergreen Jesus Folk countless times not to contact me in any way but they have not respected my wishes. I have had unwanted contact from them as recently as Wednesday, October 25, 2013. In addition to telling members of your group that I do not want any contact, I have made my views on religion quite clear in my publicly accessible Facebook page, podcast, and my blog: (http://facebook.com/blindsatanist and http://blind-satanist.blogspot.com/ ), so it should be quite clear to any reasonable person that I am not interested in what your group has to offer. The people who have harassed me most with unwanted contact in your group are Tasha Norton, Hannah Stenberg, Keefe Piper, Shane Whitaker, SuYong Park, Jeanette Ban, Christiana Johnston, and Kara Quirky.  This is not an exhaustive list of members of your group i don't want contact from, just the names I can remember of members of your group that have contacted me.  Please pass the message along the the members of the groups and the people I have named in this letter. I've also forwarded a copy of this letter to Student Activities at The Evergreen State College.  I neither expect nor desire a response to this letter.  Thanks.

Sincerely,




Ashlee Levcun

Thursday, September 12, 2013

It's Official, we are now a non-profit corporation (with the wrong PO Box)

The Satanic Missionary Society is now an officially registered non-profit corporation in the State of Washington.

It seems the clerk at the state office was a little nervous when reviewing our application, and entered the PO Box incorrectly in their system, so we never received any mail. We've filed a form to correct the address, but this means you should be able to write checks payable to "Satanic Missionary Society" soon!

Please do not mail correspondence to PO Box 11754. The correct address is PO Box 11753. Hail Satan!

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Official Satanic Product Catalog

Behold! The Official Satanic Missionary Society Product Catalog is AVAILABLE NOW! Supplies are EXTREMELY LIMITED! There are only TWELVE of these! Order yours before THEY ARE ALL GONE!

Get it here for only $199.99!


Nine unholy leaves of black to lure you with all Satan has to offer!
Would you judge this book by its cover?
Original Sins are always best!
Use only genuine Satanic Candles in all your rituals!
We have Pocket Demons priced for every budget!
Satanic Mind Control has never been easier or more affordable!
We offer indulgences for all your favorite sins!
Share the power of Satanic prayer with these items!
It's NEVER a bad time to witness with these bottled messages!
We offer Satanic services as well!
The number to call: 512-33-SATAN!

Sunday, August 4, 2013

We can help you get the best deal for your soul!

Have you been thinking of selling your soul to Satan? Let us get the best deal for you! For the incredibly low price of only 666 small pieces of imitation silver (dimes, that is) we'll send you everything you need to sell your soul to the Prince of Darkness!

http://satanicmission.org/soul

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Message in a bottle


Now sharing the Dark Gospel is easier than ever! Who can resist a message in a bottle? Stock up on these so you're never at a loss for how to start a conversation about Satan with friends and strangers!  There are three different models to choose from, priced for every budget! Why let the godly be the only ones to annoy people? These bottled Satanic messages are far more seductive than Chick tracts could ever be! Get yours today, exclusively in our on-line shop! Hail Satan!


Infernal bottled messages!  Get them here:
http://satanicmission.org/bottles
These bottles are clearly a bargain:
http://satanicmission.org/bottles-value
Remember to pray to Satan!
http://satanicmission.org/prayer-line-bottles

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Adopt a Pocket Demon!

Pocket Demons
Pocket Demons! The perfect gift for anyone who wants a little trouble! The more you get, the better they work!
Now Pocket Demons are easier to get than ever! Just head over to our new on-line shop, and order as many as you need! Each Demon comes in its own tiny corked bottle, containing a hand-detailed card with a unique image of your demon on the front, and a unique serial number on the reverse!
And considering everything your own personal demons can do for you, we're PRACTICALLY GIVING THEM AWAY!
Get an unholy trio of Pocket demons! Or treat yourself to an UNHOLY HANDFUL of FIVE DEMONS. A DIABOLICAL DOZEN DEMONS will only set you back a little more. But why stop there? The more Pocket Demons you have in your possession, the more you can have them possess others to CARRY OUT YOUR DEPRAVED DESIRES! Shemhamforash! Treat yourself to an entire 72 POCKET DEMONS! for an unbelievably low price!
You can only get these Pocket Demons in our on-line store, so ACT NOW before others buy them all and USE THEIR INFERNAL POWERS AGAINST YOU! HAIL SATAN!
Value Pocket Demons
Still not sure?
Maybe you know that Pocket Demons are for you, but you just don't know how to fit them into your monthly budget. WE HAVE THE ANSWER TO YOUR PRAYERS! Our new line of VALUE POCKET DEMONS are just what you're looking for! These Pocket Demons are JUST AS POWERFUL AND WICKED as our standard Pocket Demons, but less labor-intensive for our minions to produce. The only difference is that our Value Pocket Demons do not have serial numbers, and are printed on clear acetate instead of hand-detailed parchment card stock. But just like our standard Pocket Demons, every value pocket demon is unique, with its own individual demonic image! Value Pocket Demon are available in quantities of five, two dozen, or 72 (shemhamforLESS). So now you have NO EXCUSE! We have Pocket Demons for EVERY BUDGET! ACT TODAY!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Adopt a Demon!

Or a few! Check out the Satanic Missionary Society's new on-line shop where you can adopt Pocket Demons for incredibly low prices (considering all they can do!). All items in the shop are individually hand-crafted by the Antichris and his infernal minions! Many more items coming soon!

http://satanicmission.org/buy

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Yes, we have cookies!

But the Dark Lord only helps those who help themselves. You either have to bake them yourself, or steal them from a church bake sale. Hail Satan!

http://satanicmission.org/cookies.mp3

Thursday, June 27, 2013

They're back! (July 15)

O mighty Satan, Dark Lord of forbidden fruits and pleasures, we most shamelessly thank you for the imminent return of these unholy snack cakes to our nation's convenience store shelves. May our gluttony and laziness never cease! May our supplies of these infernal vices never again be cut off. Hail Satan!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Satanic Ritual Abuse now available

Check out Ashlee's new Satanic BDSM practice. The Satanic Panic of the 1990s may not have been real, but that doesn't have to stop you from getting the ritual abuse you've been craving all these years. Ashlee offers the real thing. She's a genuine Satanist, and she'll kick your ass if she thinks you're worth it. Ask her for one of her cards if you see her around town, and visit her new blog to keep up to date with her depraved exploits. Hail Satan! blind-satanist.blogspot.com

Thursday, March 14, 2013

New flyer for the Satanic Prayer Line

That extra space at the bottom is for Braille contributed by blind Satanist Ashlee Rose. Want to know what it says? You'll be glad you learned Braille to find out!

Monday, February 25, 2013

Shemhamforash! 72 more Pocket Demons!

Our unholy minions can only summon 72 pocket demons at a time. Each one is unique! Look for them soon at Last Word Books in Olympia, or get your own sooner at the next gathering of Olympia Satanists this Wednesday in room 200 of the Olympia Center (see http://olympia.worshipsatan.org for directions)

Hail Satan!

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Consumer warning: imosh.com cheated us!

Now they are CURSED!

On February 14, 2012, the Antichris placed an order with imosh.com to celebrate the founding of the Satanic Missionary Society. The credit card was charged $121 on February 16, 2012. As of January 2013, still no communication, shipment, or refund from this vendor. They simply took our money.

If you are looking for Satanic jewelry, don't be tempted by their slick web-site full of empty promises. In the name of Satan, we curse imosh.com to be cheated as they have cheated us! Hail Satan!

Here's a record of their correspondence with us:


From: SALES@IMOSH.COM
Subject: imosh.com order: [redacted] - Credit card
Date: February 14, 2012 4:42:26 PM PST

Order info:

Money Order & Check Orders: www.imosh.com/MONEYORDER.htm

Credit & Debit Card Orders: www.imosh.com/CREDITCARD.htm

Thank you for your order!

Date : 14 Feb 2012 - 19:42
Order ID : 9290053

Payment by Credit card

Product : Quantity : Price
RN1032 - on CHN007- 30 - Large Pentagram Necklace : 1 : 51.00
RN991-RED- 3mm cord- 40 - Large Baphomet Necklace : 1 : 42.00
RN1251 - on CHN005- inverted cross  Necklace : 1 : 18.00

Subtotal : 111.00
Shipping : 10.00
TOTAL    : 121.00

Billing details:
[redacted]

Shipping address (if different from the billing address):
[redacted]


Thank you!

Click below for more information:

www.imosh.com/ORDERRECEIVED.htm


From: sales@imosh.com
Subject: imosh.com order - status
Date: February 16, 2012 4:48:05 PM PST
Your order has been processed and is shipping on approx. 3/01/12 by u.s. mail.
The delay in shipping your order is because the item(s) you ordered are out
of stock.

Your Credit Card has been charged, and the name appearing on your statement
will be "IMOSH.COM - 908 689 6571 NJ"


We appreciate your business and are confident you will be happy with your
purchase.  If you have any questions concerning your order please respond to
this email.



Thanks

www.IMOSH.com






www.IMOSH.com ,  PO Box 497,  Dept eb,  Broadway, NJ 08808    (908) 689-6571
Join our Mailing List for Website updates & sales: www.imosh.com/MAILINGLIST.htm



We received no further e-mails or responses to e-mails from this vendor. They also rarely answer their phone. We did manage to get them on the phone a few times, and they always said that they were having trouble with their jewler, and that when they resolved the issue, they would ship out the order. We've been unable to get them on the phone for about six months.

transaction records from credit card statement

2/16/2012 IMOSH.COM WASHINGTON NJUS -121.00   Purchase
2/15/2012 IMOSH.COM WASHINGTON NJUS   -121.00 Hold
2/15/2012 IMOSH.COM WASHINGTON NJUS   121.00  Hold Reversal