Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Adopt a Pocket Demon!

Pocket Demons
Pocket Demons! The perfect gift for anyone who wants a little trouble! The more you get, the better they work!
Now Pocket Demons are easier to get than ever! Just head over to our new on-line shop, and order as many as you need! Each Demon comes in its own tiny corked bottle, containing a hand-detailed card with a unique image of your demon on the front, and a unique serial number on the reverse!
And considering everything your own personal demons can do for you, we're PRACTICALLY GIVING THEM AWAY!
Get an unholy trio of Pocket demons! Or treat yourself to an UNHOLY HANDFUL of FIVE DEMONS. A DIABOLICAL DOZEN DEMONS will only set you back a little more. But why stop there? The more Pocket Demons you have in your possession, the more you can have them possess others to CARRY OUT YOUR DEPRAVED DESIRES! Shemhamforash! Treat yourself to an entire 72 POCKET DEMONS! for an unbelievably low price!
You can only get these Pocket Demons in our on-line store, so ACT NOW before others buy them all and USE THEIR INFERNAL POWERS AGAINST YOU! HAIL SATAN!
Value Pocket Demons
Still not sure?
Maybe you know that Pocket Demons are for you, but you just don't know how to fit them into your monthly budget. WE HAVE THE ANSWER TO YOUR PRAYERS! Our new line of VALUE POCKET DEMONS are just what you're looking for! These Pocket Demons are JUST AS POWERFUL AND WICKED as our standard Pocket Demons, but less labor-intensive for our minions to produce. The only difference is that our Value Pocket Demons do not have serial numbers, and are printed on clear acetate instead of hand-detailed parchment card stock. But just like our standard Pocket Demons, every value pocket demon is unique, with its own individual demonic image! Value Pocket Demon are available in quantities of five, two dozen, or 72 (shemhamforLESS). So now you have NO EXCUSE! We have Pocket Demons for EVERY BUDGET! ACT TODAY!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Adopt a Demon!

Or a few! Check out the Satanic Missionary Society's new on-line shop where you can adopt Pocket Demons for incredibly low prices (considering all they can do!). All items in the shop are individually hand-crafted by the Antichris and his infernal minions! Many more items coming soon!

http://satanicmission.org/buy

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Yes, we have cookies!

But the Dark Lord only helps those who help themselves. You either have to bake them yourself, or steal them from a church bake sale. Hail Satan!

http://satanicmission.org/cookies.mp3